Dear Bugs of Virginia,
Apparently, you are not aware that there was deal made between myself and your bug-friends in Florida. The deal was this: stay out of my house and I will NOT mess with you in your "house" - in other words, stay out of my house and live. I was assuming that this deal was nationwide.
I am now offering you the same deal - no strings, no hidden obligations, no surprises. Just stay out. Simply put, if you refuse to abide by this contract, you will die.
So, assuming that you were unaware of this deal - I have spared your little friend a horrible death by way of cat(s) and released him to his natural environment. Please do not let this happen again. Next time, I will NOT be so kind.
P.S. Do you always send the biggest bug you can find to welcome a new resident? I mean really...